Passover Song Parodies

Mostly Matza
(Sung to W.A. Mozart's Eine Kleine Nachtmusik)
© by Randi and Murray. Spiegel, Passover 2001

Notes:  Do not repeat the music, as in the original Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.
Punctuation is provided only to help sing phrases and is not gramatically correct.  
Recommended starting note is E and not G as in the original music. 

Moses followed all of G-d's commands, helped the Jews escape from
Pharaoh's hands.  Egypt was where the Jews all lived, and happy with
their lives, until the Pharaoh came, and made them slaves; he worked
them night and day, and held them all at bay, they had to get away.
Moses, saw a bush, burning bright, G-d appeared, told him he must
save the Jews.  "Moses, you must go to Egypt speak to Pharaoh tell
him I am not amused.  Yes you must go, and tell him tell him he must
let the Hebrews go yes he must let my people go.  Their pleas I can't
ignore, they will be slaves no more.  You tell Pharaoh he will be
punished if he doesn't listen and won't let my people go."
Moses went to Egypt land, went to see old Pharaoh.  Threatened him on
G-d's behalf.  Instead it, just made Pharaoh laugh.  He said "I will
not free them, they are my slaves forever.  So go back where you came
from, give up on your endeavor.  I am strong.  You are weak, so turn
around go on home and stay there 'cause I never will give in."
So Moses said to Pharaoh, "I have my G-d behind me.  You will release
my people, or you'll be very sorry.  Plagues will come, horrid
plagues so be aware what'll happen to you if you don't release the
Jews.  I've warned you for the very last time the plagues will come
and G-d won't be kind as you will soon find."  Pharaoh said "I have
not changed my mind."
This is where the tale gets really good.  First, God changed the
water into blood*          * rhyme with "good" :)   
"A trick," said his magicians, endorsed Pharaoh's position.  But Pharaoh 
hadn't reckoned, that God would send a second.  Frogs hopped around
the city, the picture wasn't pretty.  The people were surrounded, the
croaking noise resounded.  Well Pharaoh still resisted, what Moses
had insisted.  A third plague was enlisted, and so the lice persisted.  
It seemed as if the Jews could never leave, Pharaoh's land.  It seemed, 
as if they'd never leave, but, they knew, they'd just have to believe.
All of, a sudden it looked bleak, with wild beasts ev'rywhere, the
people ran and shrieked.  The cattle all died where they had been
grazing and the boils were torture they could not endure.  People,
were in pain, they agreed, that the Jews, should be free from
slavery.  Pharaoh, would not listen to them Moses said a seventh
plague had been decreed.  The hail came down, down from the sky in
torrents, hail fell down so hard.  And such was Pharaoh's fate, God
sent plague number eight the swarms of locusts filled the sky to
terrify.  Soon the sun's rays were suppressed.  Egypt was in
darkness.  Then the tenth plague was begun, and Pharaoh, at last was,
"Put lamb's blood on your doorposts," the Jews were all instructed.
Egyptians did not know this, an awful plague erupted.  Death appeared, 
at their door and ev'ry first-born in Egypt died including Pharaoh's
fav'rite child.  The Jews all followed Moses, they made a swift
departure.  But Pharaoh's armies followed, intending to recapture.
Just ahead, was the sea so Moses stretched out his hand to part it
and they walked through carefully.  The armies followed foolishly,
the waters closed the soldiers were drowned the Jews were then free.
Now, we celebrate our freedom ev'ry Passover and this, is why we dine
on mostly matza, pasta we do not, ingest.  Consuming mostly matza
which the rabbis blessed.  We tell this story all about the Hebrews'
quest, at, this matza fest.

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